Pun intended. Life has gotten incredible (our kiddo is ten, we have a puppy, and Navy husband is happily retired and working a dream job!), but also incredibly busy. Along with so much excitement, adventure, and love, I’ve also been quietly in the throes of peri-menopause/menopause and the sheer lack of concrete information, research into women’s health for this period, understanding, patience, and support from most healthcare providers, and the overwhelming feeling of frustration associated with this stage has been mind boggling. It makes my blood boil, even when I’m not having a hot flash.

So, I’m back to process a little bit.

I’m back to the blog to give myself grace and time to write, which has always been a solace for me.

I’m returning to writing in an effort to both interrogate a time in my life, and the lives of all women, a little more deeply than I think has been done by almost everyone on the planet from an experiential aspect (not necessarily medical) AND provide some thought pathways for other women entering into – or fully immersed in – this confusing and complicated journey of our health and life.

I share these cartoons here to note a few things:

These actually feel like the type of medical advice (until very recently!) that I have gotten over the last 5 or so years to explain away my symptoms or, rather (what it has felt like) just make me go away.

Notice if you will that all the doctors are male. I have NOTHING against male physicians. However, they really do not have the physical experience to speak to what menopause is – what it FEELS like to suddently feel inexplicably hot, filled with sadness, filled with rage, having random parts of your body hurt for absolutely no reason, hit with overwhelming exhaustion at odd parts of the day, no longer being able to sleep through the night, losing your sense of sexual self, and feeling utterly alone through it all because talking about any and all of this has been so taboo for so long.

Yes, they can try and medically explain it – and they often do a decent job of this. But, like with so many things I realize, every symptom presents differently in every woman. Environment, family history, current job stress, current life stress, past events, relationship with food and alcohol, physical activity….each of these can actually play a huge role in how symptoms present themselves and how to treat them. Yes, a male doctor can help with this. And many do. Or try. It’s not a fault of male doctors at all. But, female healthcare providers (doctors, PAs, nurse practitioners, physical therapists) who have experienced hormonal shifts can, in my humble opinion, help us articulate what we are feeling with just a little more nuance that, again in my opinion, can be helpful in really targeting the issues of menopause.

And hey, I’m on this journey. I have been on it now for about 5-6 years that I know of…possibly longer. And at the start, ZERO women I knew were talking about this stage in our lives. In fact, at the time, ZERO women I knew even knew they were in this stage of their lives. That is slowly shifting. I’m hearing more open talk of menopause. I’m seeing celebraties share their experience. I’m seeing conferences to help educate women.

Geez, I was even at a gymnastics showcase for our daughter talking to friend who is a physical therapist and we were OPENLY discussing menopause with both our husbands on either side of us. To say I was giddy to 1) have this friend and 2) be in this conversation with someone who both knew and understood the experience, but also worked to support women through it (she’s a pelvic floor specialist, which is way cool – ladies, did you even know we HAD that option?!!), I’ve found more healthcare providers open to learning with us, deeply invested in learning to help us, and spending time, research (with not enough money, of course) to learn more. So, at this time, I too am learning. And for me, as you might well know if you’ve been around here for the last decade or so, learning means writing. It’s part of my own processing and while I’ve let life lately get in the way of that, I’m hoping a return to it helps, both me personally but perhaps adds to the growing body of information women can use to educate themselves and seek support.

I can’t and won’t promise a regular post. But I’ll see what I can do.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go turn the thermostat down.

~ Yours truly,

Prepsterhippymenopausalmama