In every scenario I imagined when I knew I was going to be a mother, none of them included me continuing to nurse our daughter past her first birthday. And yet, we are now on the precipice of her 2nd birthday and we are still breastfeeding. While we are nursing much, much less often these days — morning, evening and sometimes, on a lucky Saturday, in the afternoon too. There are times when I really relish these quiet moments. I can smell her hair and hold her little fingers in my hands, and feel her curled up alongside me, almost matching her breathing to my own. And then there are times when I have to go to the bathroom, or want to do another load of laundry before bed, or GO to bed, or take a shower and even these small moments of breastfeeding sort of feel like they are “in the way.”
So I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately as I really feel ready to wean at the 2 year mark, if she doesn’t do it first on her own. And I know that I will miss so many of these moments even though I will also be a little relieved as well. That, I feel, is the definition of ‘bittersweet’ to me.
I know that I will miss these moments. When I read Amanda Metcalf’s piece, “7 Things You Miss About Breastfeeding When Its Over“, I immediately remembered instances for each of the seven.
Tonight mid-nursing session, which is only about 15-20 minutes in length these days, our little one pops off and said emphatically:
“Yes?” I replied.
“Hi!” And back down she went.
Yeah, I’ll miss these moments alright!